descriptive but not wordy
Spent the past couple of weeks incorporating new scenes and places into the Protectress after ideas from talking to new readers and from working on book two's outline. And after all that, it feels like time to start again at the beginning and work on making edits that sound so daunting. Make sure the book is descriptive but not too wordy.
So, it's back to the beginning for Luna, to complete a definitely not impossible task of CUTTING WORDS and ADDING BETTER DESCRIPTIONS. Where will this lead?! Who's to say, but hopefully with at least 5000 words gone and vivid pictures of the Game world and the (newly added) different regions of the Silvis.
For me, the best tool for how to write vivid descriptions is by reading other writers who do this well, and figuring out what I like about them. It's never a boring list that attracts my attention, but something that paints a clear image and tells me something unique about the character's personality or the mood of the setting.
Take the example below to look at. Something I've been working on with the addition of different regions of the Silvis. CAVEAT, I still think it needs work. But, the goal of this particular paragraph is to introduce the complexities of what exactly is going in the Silvis. What would help you picture these places better? If you have thoughts, I'd love to hear them while going through this next round of edits!
On those late nights, she learned the different parts of the Silvis by heart. Silver Creek was her favorite escape. Here, she discovered a rope that led to a treehouse she visited often, and that the creek water possessed healing powers after a cloud of heavy fog descended on her and burned her bare arms. The fog was the first time she’d seen a pack of cloaked figures emerge, screeching so loudly she passed out; the next day she awoke at the edge of her backyard covered in red gashes, with a hazy memory of a bright light Since then, she kept watch for signs of the fog, but still returned each night. The Silvis was also where Luna first discovered the beginnings of her abilities.
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